Curiosity. Courage. Coachability.

The 3 levers that keep delivering (when life gets real)

If you look back at the moments you actually changed—really changed—it probably wasn’t because you found a magical plan.

It was because something shifted inside you. You became willing to see more clearly, choose on purpose, and follow through long enough for it to work.

Across my coaching work—trail runners, women 40+, and busy professionals with full plates—the same three levers show up again and again:

Curiosity. Courage. Coachability.

They’re not personality traits reserved for “disciplined people.” They’re skills. And the good news is: skills can be trained.

Here’s what each lever looks like in real life—and how to practice it in a way that actually creates results.

1) Curiosity

Curiosity is the quiet engine. It’s the moment you stop defending your current story and start investigating your reality.

From a coaching lens, curiosity reduces judgment. From a neuroscience lens, it also does something useful: it helps your brain shift from threat mode (“I’m failing”) to learning mode (“I’m exploring”). That shift alone can unlock options you couldn’t see when you were tense, rushed, or self-critical.

Curiosity turns mistakes into data. And data is usable.

Curiosity vs. overthinking

Curiosity has movement. Overthinking has loops.

Curiosity asks one good question and runs an experiment.

Overthinking asks twenty questions and changes nothing.

Self-coaching prompts (use these when you feel stuck)

Try these small swaps:

• Swap “I know” → “What am I missing?”

• Swap “I should” → “What would work in my real life?”

• Swap “This always happens” → “When exactly does this happen?”

Then go a little deeper:

• What’s the pattern here—time of day, stress level, sleep, hormones, workload?

• What do I do when it’s working? What do I do when it’s not?

• If I treated this week like an experiment, what’s one variable I’d change?

Tiny curiosity practices (high impact)

• Add one line to your training log / diary: “What surprised me today?”

• Ask one person you respect: “What would you change if you were me?”

• If someone has what you want, ask three specific questions:

  • What did you stop doing?

  • What did you simplify?

  • What did you repeat even when motivation was low?

Curiosity is what keeps you from “starting over.” It keeps you in the game.

2) Courage

Courage isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice you act on. It’s not intensity—it’s showing up when it would be easier not to.

It often starts with a simple moment: you hit Confirm. You book the appointment. You sign up. You send the message. Then you do the first rep.

Courage rarely arrives at 2 AM when you’re anxious or tired. It’s usually decided earlier—quietly—in a clear moment: This matters. I’m doing it.

Motivation is unpredictable. Courage is pre-decided.

What “no courage” often looks like (the sneaky version)

Most people don’t quit. They delay in ways that feel reasonable:

• Endless tinkering, no first rep

• “I’ll see how I feel” (week after week)

• Data checked, decision dodged

• Skipping the hard element every time

• Perfection trap: if it’s not 60 minutes, do zero

• “After the holidays / when work calms down…”

If you recognize yourself here, don’t judge it. Just notice: this is often a protective strategy (avoiding failure, discomfort, or raised expectations).

Courage reps (small, clean, doable)

Courage is rarely a leap. It’s a 10% edge:

• Book the thing (physio / labs / DEXA / therapy)—and follow through

• Show up for 15 minutes when mood says no

• First rep back: scaled and honest

• One 10% edge: slightly heavier / steeper / faster… then stop

• Protect one boundary: sleep or training window (say “no” once this week)

• Have the conversation: clear ask, clear next step—put it on the calendar

Self-coaching questions

• What am I avoiding—discomfort, disappointment, or an identity shift?

• What would courage look like at my current capacity?

• What’s the smallest action I can take today that my future self will thank me for?

Courage doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be real.

3) Coachability

Coachability is how curiosity becomes change. It’s the bridge between insight and results.

One of the biggest myths is that coachability means being “easy” or compliant. Not at all.

Coachability means you’re willing to tell the truth about what’s happening, work with structure, accept feedback without making it personal, and follow through long enough to get meaningful data.

In other words: you treat the plan as a living framework—flexible when real constraints show up, but not optional when it gets uncomfortable.

Coachability in behaviors (what it actually looks like)

• Tell the truth (signal > story) Log sleep / protein / load / mood; name constraints without drama.

• Turn goals into protocols “Stronger feet” becomes: mobility + stability, 3×/week, for 4 weeks.

• Run small experiments (10–14 days) Fuel timing, bedtime, weekly structure, strength frequency—one lever at a time.

• Use the loop: plan → do → check → adjust No drama, just data.

• Pre-commit Calendar blocks, cues, accountability partner.

• Ask targeted feedback “What’s my next 1%?”

Self-coaching questions

• Am I treating this like a real experiment—or a vague intention?

• What am I willing to repeat for 14 days, even at 70% quality?

• What would “honest consistency” look like right now?

What this looks like in real life

Across my coaching work, I see these levers in very different contexts: endurance training, women’s health in peri/menopause, and professional coaching. Here are three quick examples from my clients.

Trail & Endurance Coaching

• Follow the intent of the session (not your mood)

• Execute the key intervals as written. If you need to move the session, move it for a real constraint (ex: poor sleep)—not just because it feels hard

• Log signals + one line: what worked / what didn’t

• Send a pre-brief + debrief (“plan” → “what happened + next 1%”)

• If something hurts or life hits, scale before you skip; name the constraint so we adjust together

Self-check

• Did I train the intent… or negotiate with discomfort?

• Did I give my coach clean data, or a story?

Fit & Healthy Menopause Coaching

• Hold a fixed sleep window (ex: 22:30–6:30)

• Hit ~30g protein per meal

• Track night sweats for 10 days to spot patterns and measure change

• Share one pattern + one question, then we choose the next lever to test

Self-check

• Am I chasing random fixes… or running one clear experiment?

• What’s the smallest lever that gives the biggest relief?

Professional Coaching

• End each session with one promise (clear, small, dated)

• Put it on the calendar before you hang up

• Mid-week: Done / In progress / Blocked (by what?)

• If missed: name cause → shrink by 50% → reschedule within 72 hours → confirm completion

• Bring one datapoint + one question next session so we iterate, not rehash

Self-check

• Did I build trust with myself this week?

• Did I protect my promise with structure—or leave it to mood?

Quick self-scan: Coachability checklist

If you want a quick integrity check this week:

• I logged the real signals this week.

• I followed the protocol (or documented why not).

• I asked one focused question.

• I made one adjustment based on evidence.

That’s how progress happens—quietly, consistently, over time.

Closing thought

Curiosity helps you see what’s true.

Courage helps you act on it.

Coachability helps you repeat the loop until it works.

If you feel stuck, don’t look for a bigger push. Look for the lever you’re not pulling—and pull it: small, clean, on purpose.